When thinking about things that are democratic, I think about how dirty politics is. I think it’s my dislike for all things political that spurs this.

There’s always controversies and scandals and things happening that no one in those high political positions should be participating in.

Anyways, I was thinking about a politician who wears Levi’s. He sleeps around, steals money allocated for education programs, is on his yacht all the time and never attends meetings, and keeps it all a secret. He’s dirty. And pretty realistic.

But he’s also OCD. Every time he commits something vulgar, he wipes his hands on his Levi’s, nervously brushing the figurative dirt that’s on his hands off. He thinks he’s literally got dirt on his hands from being such a vile person.

What he doesn’t know is that his jeans are slowly getting dirtier. He doesn’t notice because he’s worried about other things, like being caught cheating on his wife.

His wife tells him to wash his jeans. He looks down and can’t see any dirt, completely blind to all his wrongs. But everyone else sees his dirty jeans and begins to catch on. His nervous jean rubbing always follows a sketchy statement he makes.

One day, he is brought in to be hooked up to a polygraph. He’s being impeached from his position if he fails his polygraph. He’s been caught with hookers, drugs, and random cash. He denies it being his. He was holding them for a friend.

Because he keeps his cool, he seems to be telling the truth for every question they ask. They don’t know how he’s playing the system. He’s clearly a douche politician. They let him go and go back and review their findings. One of the investigators tells the polygraph proctor to get the video from the polygraph room’s surveillance tape. They want to look through every bit of information before letting him go.

And then they see it.

After almost every question, besides “State your name”, he was furiously rubbing his palms on his jeans. They’re smudgy and gross. They bring him back in and make him take off his jeans. Tons of the smudges were composed of bits and pieces of evidence that supported his involvement with everything he had been charged for.